Six percent of Americans believe the stimulus package created jobs. More Americans believe Elvis is still alive.

Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Islam I Learned on 9/11

POLLS

Do you feel public workers should be allowed to unionize against taxpayers?

  • No (90%,)
  • Duh, I don't know (still they allow me to vote) (10%,)
  • Yes (0%,)

Start Date: August 30, 2010 @ 2:43 pm
End Date: September 13, 2010 @ 2:43 pm

Do you believe Obama's stimulus package has been successful in creating jobs?

  • No (100%,)
  • Yes (0%,)
  • I'm too stupid to form an opinion (0%,)

Start Date: August 8, 2010 @ 8:24 am
End Date: August 15, 2010 @ 8:24 am

What TV show do you think Obama will appear on next, after the View?

  • The Biggest Loser (38%,)
  • Jerry Springer (38%,)
  • Jersey Shore (25%,)
  • Little People, Big World (0%,)
  • Real Housewives of New Jersey (-1%,)

Start Date: July 28, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
End Date: August 6, 2010 @ 5:51 pm

Should a 13-story Muslim mosque be built anywhere near ground zero?

  • No freakin' way (69%,)
  • No, but if they serve bacon and eggs before prayers I'd consider it. (23%,)
  • Yes (8%,)

Start Date: July 20, 2010 @ 7:39 pm
End Date: July 28, 2010 @ 7:39 pm

Which image would most likely give you nightmares?

  • Sex Poodle Al Gore naked and drenched in baby oil (89%,)
  • Eliot Spitzer in a hotel room clad only in black socks (11%,)
  • Bill Clinton explaining what "is" is with the help of cigars as props (0%,)
  • John Edwards hiding in a hotel men's room stall humming "I feel pretty" (0%,)

Start Date: June 27, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
End Date: July 3, 2010 @ 2:14 pm